Seeking Approval
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Hi Reader, I recently came across another quote from the stoic Epictetus that struck a chord with me. "Never depend upon the admiration of others. There is no strength in it. Personal merit cannot be derived from an external source." And while that may be true, it’s not always easy to live by. We have all at some time sought validation from others. But the gains are impermanent. Even if we do benefit from a word of encouragement, if it’s not backed up by self belief, we begin to doubt the authenticity of the praise. The same principle applies when we try to help others. You may offer encouragement and counsel to someone for years. But until they believe in themselves, or understand the detriment of the path they are on, they will not instigate change. That doesn't mean we should stop trying to help others, quite the contrary. Just know there are limitations to your efforts. You are responsible for your actions. They are responsible for theirs. If you seek validation, seek it from yourself. You are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to. Replace doubt with an enquiring mind. Be patient with yourself, and others, and never stop moving forward. Focus on the light, always, Natalie Attenborough |
Focus on the Light
Hi Reader, The Dalai Lama teaches that anger is a weakness, and counsels never to act or make a decision when in an angry state. While passionate feelings may inspire great deeds, no good comes from anger. I am generally an agreeable person. Though we all get angry at times. When angry, my natural response is to try and rationalise the situation. But my reasoning is flawed by the negative emotion, and I always, and I mean always, either make things worse or hurt others or myself. So now, when...
Hi Reader, I went home for a few days recently. My family home. My parents still live in the house I grew up in. It is a house filled with memories, and love. The same chair where I sat on my Mums knee as an infant, that I now sit in with my daughter when we visit. The dining room where my family shared Christmas meals after opening gifts. The bedroom I shared with my older sister. Every square inch of the house is crammed with memories. As is the village it is located in. And going there I...
Hi Reader, When I became a parent I was given one piece of advice that I found particularly useful. Never compare your child to others. As a first time parent it can be easy to question your own methods. And by comparing your child to others, conclude you are getting it wrong. But as we know, every child is different. So I chose not to compare mine to others, particularly for significant milestones such as crawling, walking and potty training. And I let my daughter proceed at her own pace....