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Hi Reader, When I became a parent I was given one piece of advice that I found particularly useful.
As a first time parent it can be easy to question your own methods. And by comparing your child to others, conclude you are getting it wrong. But as we know, every child is different. So I chose not to compare mine to others, particularly for significant milestones such as crawling, walking and potty training. And I let my daughter proceed at her own pace. The result was, she achieved all, in her own time, with relative ease. The transitions were quite sudden, because she was ready. I have maintained the same approach as she has grown up. Opportunities are always there for her. And of course there is time for counsel, guidance and correction. But she has grown into an independent person who makes her own decisions and knows when to ask for help. It occurred to me that the same piece of advice is relevant to our lives as adults. We are all different. And should not compare ourselves to others. Whether to criticise our own progress. Or justify our actions. No one else has walked our path. And no one can. Our experiences, interpretations and actions are unique. Our transitions occur when we alone are ready. And to invite comparison imposes limitations. “A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms.”
Zen Shin
Focus on the light, always, Natalie Attenborough |
Hi Reader, The Dalai Lama teaches that anger is a weakness, and counsels never to act or make a decision when in an angry state. While passionate feelings may inspire great deeds, no good comes from anger. I am generally an agreeable person. Though we all get angry at times. When angry, my natural response is to try and rationalise the situation. But my reasoning is flawed by the negative emotion, and I always, and I mean always, either make things worse or hurt others or myself. So now, when...
Hi Reader, I went home for a few days recently. My family home. My parents still live in the house I grew up in. It is a house filled with memories, and love. The same chair where I sat on my Mums knee as an infant, that I now sit in with my daughter when we visit. The dining room where my family shared Christmas meals after opening gifts. The bedroom I shared with my older sister. Every square inch of the house is crammed with memories. As is the village it is located in. And going there I...
Hi Reader, As we develop and age, much of our behaviour becomes habitual. The statistics for just how much vary greatly, but at least half of our actions seem to be driven by habit. And the implications of habitual behaviour are greater than you may imagine. As such, it is important to make a conscious effort to foster good habits. A bad habit that seems trivial now could be devastating should your circumstances change. When placed under extreme stress, there is a tendency to rely on...